Kaycia Walker

Storytime…

I was at my friends’ house one day when the help (let’s call her Ms. V.) asked me to prepare salted mackerel for her lunch. Because I was not doing anything at that moment, and because I thought it would be impolite to say no, I said okay. This might have seemed like a very simple task to some but for me, it was nerve-wracking. Why? Because I had never cooked salted mackerel before in my life. If the food was not in a can, Kaycia didn’t know how to cook it. I felt embarrassed to admit it because, at age 12 or 13, I assumed I was supposed to know how to do it. I also knew that many girls in my community who were in my age range already knew how to cook a complete meal from scratch but I didn’t. So, I decided to take the chance and do my best. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

It Was All A Hot Mess

After Ms. V. exited the kitchen I got to work. I removed the salted mackerel from its packaging and carefully assessed it. Since it’s a fish, I decided to take the same approach to cook it the way my parents do whenever they cooked a snapper or parrotfish. So, I attempted to cut it open to remove the entrails but it was very difficult. Who knew salted mackerel was so difficult to cut open?! I am not sure if the knife was not sharp enough or if the mackerel was just too tough but I could not cut it open. Lucky for me, after flipping it over I noticed that someone had already cut it open and removed the entrails! How wonderful! I then proceeded to scale the salted mackerel. After all, mommy always scales the fish before cooking it so I was not about to cook this one without first scaling it. However, after attempting to do this, the knife just glided over the skin revealing that it did not have scales. “This is my lucky day!” I thought.

Now that the removal of the entrails and scales was out of the way, I could move on to the next step which involved washing the mackerel before adding my seasoning. (If you’re already laughing at me, I get it. I’d laugh at myself too). I gathered my powdered seasoning- Maggie all-purpose seasoning, salt, black pepper. Then I chopped some onions, garlic, scallion, washed a piece of thyme, added all my seasoning to my salted mackerel, and rubbed them in. I then let it sit for a few minutes so it could marinate. Yes, I let it marinate. Not for one minute did I stop to question if the already salted mackerel needed more salt, can you imagine?! Nope. I just added whatever made sense to me at that moment. 

After allowing the salted mackerel to marinate, (yes, I let it marinate) I heated oil in a frying pan and proceeded to fry the salted mackerel. Yes, you read correctly, I fried the salted mackerel. I suppose Ms. V. smelled the catastrophe and came rushing into the kitchen. Now, anyone who has ever prepared salted mackerel knows that it has to be boiled a few times to remove most of the salt content or it will not be edible. But, since I had no knowledge of this, and because I was too proud to admit same, I almost triggered Ms. V’s hypertension.

When I saw Ms. V. enter the kitchen it felt like all the blood in my body had been removed because my hands and feet immediately got cold. The kitchen was warm, but I was not. Anyway, I put my best poker face on and flipped the mackerel in the pan, the now visible side perfectly pan seared and crispy. It didn’t smell right either but hey, pretending felt much more comfortable than admitting my ignorance.

The Conversation

Here’s how the exchange between Ms. V. and I went:

Ms. V., trying to mask the look of shock on her face stood staring in disbelief at the crispy fish lying in hot oil on the stove and calmly asked, “Um, why yuh neva boil it first?” (English Translation: “Why didn’t you boil it first?”)

“A suh me like it,” I replied. (English Translation: “That’s how I like it). My heart beat so hard in my chest I felt like if you were standing next to me you’d be able to hear it.

Maintaining her composure she gently said, “A’right but since yuh a cook fi me bwoil e couple time because bwoi, mi presha! Mi cyaa manage it at all!” (English Translation: “Okay I understand, but considering that you are preparing it for me it’s best if you boil it a few times. I really cannot handle that much salt because I have hypertension.”) 

With that said, she took over from me. I don’t blame her. I mean, there was no telling what else I would have ruined and it may have cost us a few visits to the restroom. That day, I had a front-row seat to view how salted mackerel should be prepared, and got the motivation to learn to cook other things (properly of course) and I got better with time.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Just because something looks familiar does not mean we are equipped to handle it. The salted mackerel appeared familiar because it resembled other fish I saw my mom prepare but its makeup, the procedure, and time required to prepare it were very different. We ought to be careful not to damage the gifts, people, and blessings placed into our lives because of presumed familiarity. While knowledge transfer is sometimes helpful, it can be dangerous. It’s best to take the time to investigate how someone or something operates before attempting to ‘handle’ it.  
2. Pretense will not erase one’s error or flaw but will instead magnify it. Failure to admit that one needs help can lead to tremendous damage and regret. Because I was too proud to admit that I needed help, and because I was fearful of how I would be viewed if I confessed that I did not know what I was doing, I embarrassed myself. Asking for help does not mean one is weak; it takes great strength to do so. Allowing pride to get in the way of receiving much-needed help can result in delayed or stunted growth. Want to grow? Don’t pretend you know when you don’t. If not, you’ll end up looking silly like I did and we don’t want that, okay?
3. We often shift roles throughout our lifetime. No one is at the top of their game their entire lives. With life being so unpredictable, one person can be a millionaire today but lose it all after becoming bankrupt the next. Another can be an academic today but becomes handicapped and lose all sense of reasoning after a terrible accident. We sometimes tend to ascribe degrees of importance, value, and respect to individuals based on a title. Though I was perceived as educated, the help knew something I did not, and this gave her some degree of power. That encounter taught me another valuable lesson- we can learn from anyone regardless of social class, race, or gender, but we can only do this if we open up ourselves to receive.

Oh, and also that you do not need to add salt to salted mackerel (smh). 

Side note: For the best ideas on meal prep and for the best tasting Jamaican cuisine in San Diego, please check out my friend’s Instagram and YouTube pages @goodeatsbyseasha.