Kaycia Walker

Have you ever been on public transportation and felt the urge to ‘go’? You held your pee because you do not fancy using public restrooms, so you told yourself that you could go through your 9-hour day, consume food and liquids throughout, and not use the restroom until you were in the comfort of your own home. Why? Because you are sure of the cleanliness of your bathroom because you cleaned it but public restrooms? Not so much. The drive home is just about 25-30 minutes (depending on how bad traffic is) but surely, you can hold on, even though right now it feels like someone is sitting on your bladder, and at any moment the flood gates of heaven will burst open with showers of…well, you get the picture 🙂

“Almost there, almost there”, you hear yourself saying. So far you’ve done well at holding it in but the closer you get to home, the more intense the need to ‘go’ becomes. You start sweating. But you’re determined to get there. You must! You cannot afford to pee your pants, you’re grown! You pull into the driveway, jump out of the car, and fumble for your keys, all the while dancing, crossing your legs, and telling yourself that you’re almost there. You open the door and rush straight towards the bathroom. You begin to feel a trickle but you’ve come too far to turn back now! “Hold on!” you tell yourself and surprisingly, self listens. As you thrust yourself onto the toilet, the floods came. Free at last! You feel relief. You made it.

Is the scenario above relatable? Of course, there might be some variation in how you got to the point of having an urgent need to use the restroom but I’m almost certain that at some point in your life you had a similar experience. But what caused you to be able to contain your urine until you got to the restroom? Mind power my friend. How is it that the minute you got closer and closer to the bathroom the need to go worsened? The neural pathways in your brain detected that you are close to the place where you can empty your bladder and sends the signal through you body, so your body responds. Simply put, whatever you believe in your heart/ mind to be true, your body will respond accordingly.

Our actions are deeply connected to what we believe to be true. Because you believed it was possible for you to make it to the bathroom, you did. Did you know that surgeons are often able to tell if a patient who is to undergo major surgery will make it out alive or not? If a patient’s mindset is one of hopelessness the chances of him surviving decreases. Conversely, if the patient is optimistic, the chances of him surviving increases. Educators are often able to accurately predict if students will pass a major test based on their mindset.

PERSPECTIVE

In my previous blog, I shared a story that I recently read about Kevin and Craig. Interestingly, one of my dear friends and avid supporter, Jascinth, reached out to share her take on the story and it was so good that I thought I’d share it with you too! Her takeaway from the story is that even though people will sometimes make deliberate attempts to block you like locking you into the closet and trying to convince you that you will never be able to make it out without their help (much like what happened to Kevin), you can find a way out- one that can take you higher. There are some people who after having the experience of being “locked in”, accept defeat and never try to get out or improve themselves. However, Kevin did not do that. Instead, he found a way out, and very soon he was in an elevated position, looking down at Craig. Kevin’s action is proof that your mind is so powerful that it can create opportunities to guarantee your success in environments that were initially designed to ensure your failure.

STORYTIME!

Back in high school, my favorite subjects were always English Language and Literature but I had a strong dislike for Math. I hated Math so much that I went to my final exam with just a pencil, though it also required that I had a pen and a geometry set. I was not interested. Plus, I knew I would be pursuing something in English in college so my ignorant self would tell my friends, “I don’t need Math to do English” whenever they asked about my lack of interest in the subject area. Well, I did get into college but I was in for a rude awakening. In order to get my degree, I had to take a math course (that was much harder than high school math by the way) and score at least a “B” in order to get my degree.

The course was uploaded to the school’s online portal but I did not take them seriously. Like really? My degree has nothing to do with Math for crying out loud! Needless to say, I ignored the course until the final two weeks before the end of the semester. I received a memo. If the course (which was designed to be completed over the course of 4 months) was not completed within the next two weeks, I would receive an “F” and not graduate. Guys, when I saw this something clicked. I knew I had to pass this course and I’d do anything to make sure I did because I needed my degree! So, I got to work. I covered four months’ worth of content within the next two weeks. I was so tired, I dreamt about numbers and saw them on the walls of my room quite regularly. If I was someone who gambled, I would have bought Cashpot and the lottery because I saw numbers everywhere! After completing the unit, I had to sit the final exam in person. Guys, I passed and I was just two points away from scoring an “A”. And guess what? I did it under pressure! I produced my best math score yet, while I was under pressure! This is the same person who had failed Math in high school. Up until then, I believed I could not comprehend math. Until there was a shift in my mindset and my need for a reward, my actions would have remained the same and I would have gotten the same results. Our minds are powerful beyond measure. Do not underestimate your ability to create your reality.

I want you to think of a task or dream you have been delaying for the longest while. Next, I want you to identify the reason for your delay. Is it because you think you’re not qualified to do it? Or do you not have the money to do it? Is it that you simply cannot find the time? Or are you just afraid to fail? Having read the stories above, I hope you deeply understand that your mind is powerful beyond measure so much so that it can create your reality. I hope you understand that while your actions or inactions played a pivotal role in leading you to where you are in life right now, everything originated in your mind before they became actions. I hope you understand that circumstances contribute to the making of the man, but it’s the thoughts in a man’s heart that make the man.

MY TOOLKIT

Affirmations

I did not come into awareness of the need for and power of affirmations until recent years. For more reasons than one, I grew up having a very flawed view of humility where speaking highly of oneself was viewed as pride. So, when my coach instructed me to do a list of affirmations daily, it felt very strange. First of all, everything I said I was, did not look like that when I declared them. For example, I’d affirm myself by saying, “I am a gentle, thoughtful, and pleasant person” yet I’d snap at people when I was irritated about something that quite often did not involve them, and my face communicated anything but pleasantness. It felt frustrating and pointless when I’d make the declarations but did the opposite during the day but eventually, I gradually started to change. Why did this happen? I stumbled upon what I like to call “affirmation 101”. Instead of only affirming myself in the things I desire to be, I now affirm myself in who God says I am. What does He say? He calls me “royalty” (1 Peter 2:9), “above only and not beneath” (Deut. 28:13), “the apple of His eye” (Zech. 2:8), and “known” (Jere. 1:5). He calls me “loved” (John 3:16). In changing my approach, I started to become who I was declaring myself to be because I found my identity in Him. Even if you are not spiritual, there are life-changing principles written in the Bible that can help you improve in every area of your life.

CONCLUSION

Remember, regardless of whatever you face, whether it’s a bathroom dilemma, a subject area dilemma, a work-related dilemma, familial or relational dilemma, you are fully equipped to overcome it. You (not your circumstances) create your reality. Everything is conspiring for your success! Work it! It’s all about mindset. You are the rose that keeps growing from concrete. GROW.