Kaycia Walker

THE MOUTH TRAP

“We are?”

“Limitless!”, replied about 50 percent of my students.

The other 50 percent were still discussing the latest gossip, upcoming game, cheer practice, and the fact that having to go to school is by far the worst punishment to have ever been inflicted on them and they cannot understand what sins they could have possibly committed to deserve such harsh punishment and injustice. But because I needed everyone’s attention, I repeated the question and waited for everyone to chime in before continuing my lesson.

“We are?”

“Limitless!” a resounding response to the question came from 98% of the class. But there’s always that one student who every year, without fail, responds above the voices of the 98 percent with, “Limited!” before he bursts out laughing. Soon, everyone in the class is floored, holding their belly as their faces light up with excitement at the student’s declaration. Some even changed their initial response by echoing the sentiments of the two percent, “We are limited!”

I have not always had a positive mindset and there are times when I do slip into the zone of pessimism when things are not going the way I had anticipated or desired. In fact, I have been told that I know just what to say to help people get out of the rut they think they’re in but what many do not know is that while that may be true, I sometimes have difficulty talking myself out of a less than ideal situation. However, I am blessed to have family members, mentors, and friends who will call me out on my foolishness and set me straight. Hence, I try to empathize with individuals who have a difficult time seeing the light in their perceived hopeless situations. It concerns me each year though, that there is an alarming number of students who find it easier to declare, “I’m dumb”, or “I can’t do it because I’m slow” but keep their lips closed when asked to declare, “I am amazing and I can do anything I put my mind to!” or choose to declare, with a broad smile plastered across their faces, “I am limited!” as if they have just won the most coveted award in history. The problem with this is, that this declaration, though made in jest, has the power to negatively impact their lives in the present and beyond.

I’ve often wondered why is it that we find it easier to believe the worst things about ourselves but have no struggle with believing the negatives. I mean, you were probably shocked to know that some students prefer to declare themselves to be limited and found it strange that they laughed when I asked them to say the opposite. Why would they do that? How does it even make sense? Well, though they are children, you would be surprised to know that there are adults who do the same thing. We lock ourselves in a box and while we may not verbalize that we are limited, our actions declare it for us. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

EVERYBODY HATES MONDAYS

Let’s play, “Put a finger down”. Hold up your right hand and each time I make a statement that you can agree or identify with put a finger down. Let’s go! Put a finger down if you look forward to Fridays. Put a finger down if you are happiest on the weekend. Put a finger down if you feel deep sadness or anxiety every Sunday evening. Put a finger down if you hate Mondays. Put a finger down if you feel grumpy on your way to work on a Monday. Put a finger down if you no longer feel motivated or inspired on your job, you just go through the motions and do the bare minimum. How many fingers do you still have up? May I tell you a secret? The sadness, depression, or lack of motivation that you feel at the beginning of the week is not because you hate Mondays, it’s because you hate your job. Studies have shown that most heart attacks take place on a Monday morning between the hours of 8:00 am and 9:00 am, the time when many people report to work. Why?

Remember what I said about us sometimes declaring our perceived limitations through our actions? There are a lot of people who operate out of the spirit of fear. We are sometimes afraid to take a chance on ourselves and believe that what we see is all that is available to us. So, we report to jobs we hate or stay in relationships that are dysfunctional because we feel like we cannot land anything better. We love security, and anything that threatens us is immediately shut down, regardless of the toll it takes on every other area of our lives. The result? We never tap into our truest potential.

H.O.T (Honest, Open, Transparent)

I used to be like that. I used to think that certain opportunities and possibilities are only available to some people. I used to think that my options are limited. I used to think that my value is attached to people’s opinions of me. I used to think that some things were impossible. I USED to think that I was limited. Until the day I discovered that the limitations that were placed on my mind were put there by me. I found a box, crawled into it, and “locked” myself in. The only thing is, the top was open this whole time and all I needed to do was get up and walk out. So why didn’t I? Well, I thought I couldn’t. I thought I was helpless. because of the mind trap, my physical self responded accordingly. I refused to take chances. I refused to take a chance on myself and the God who lives inside of me.

Let’s be real here. For some people, others have declared limitations on them and they accepted it as truth. You may have had this experience. The truth is, people will always have opinions, but their opinions cannot control us unless we give them permission to. The minute you start allowing people to define you and what you can or cannot do, you have come out of the driver’s seat of your life and given them the steering wheel while you’re sitting miserably in the backseat. When I realized this, I took my power back. I recognized that the only person who can tell what my true value or worth is has to be The One who created me. Apple does not call Samsung to ask how much they think the new iPhone 14 pro is valued. No, they attach a price based on what they know about the phone.

I sit now and shake my head when I think about all the years I spent relinquishing my power to choose to the will of other people and life itself. However, I am grateful for the experiences. Because of them, I have a clearer and more secure sense of self. These past few weeks especially, have taught me that I cannot expect people to see my value if I first do not acknowledge it, then allow them to see it.

The truth is that we live in a world where people sometimes attempt to undervalue and demean your worth. While not always necessary, you will at some point, need to introduce yourself. After all, we are more likely to listen to someone who has the credentials to speak on a topic or to treat an illness because that makes them a person of authority. Sometimes, even if your voice is shaking and your knees are clanking, you will need to introduce yourself. But before you can do that, the limitations need to be removed from your mind. Know that you are amazing. Know that you are a person of value. People cannot limit you. Situations cannot limit you. A job or a relationship cannot limit you…without your permission. Never be afraid to take a chance on yourself. You are limitless! In fact, YOU are your only limit. And when those limitations are removed, you will be unstoppable and everyone and everything around you will have no choice but to acknowledge this.