Kaycia Walker

TRUE STORY

Jim’s wife had been begging him to take his family on vacation for a while. He was a hardworking businessman who took his job seriously and was hardly ever absent. He would go in before everyone else and be the last to leave. While his department flourished, his wife and son were heartbroken because he was hardly home and when he was, he was always responding to emails and text messages that were work-related. This made Jane, his wife, angry and hurt all at the same time. If she changed how she wore her hair or made a special dinner to express her love for him, he didn’t notice as his head was always buried in something connected to work.

However, after months of begging and pleading to get away for some alone time as a family Jim finally gave in. Of course, this took time because he doubted everyone else at work would be able to hold the fort until he got back so he decided to take his cell phone, just in case. When Jane saw this, she stared glaringly at him in a tone that said, “You better not” but Jim took it anyway.

They loaded everything into the back of the truck and securely fastened the child seat of their 3-year-old son, Caiden, onto the back seat. They set off to their destination, a cozy cabin across the country with a creek where Jim could do some fishing. To make the journey more enjoyable, Jane decided that they should sing a few songs. After all, what is a road trip without singing? Jim rolled his eyes but decided to sing along or he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Plus, he was not prepared to be the one who ruined the family vacation so he joined in.

After about two rounds, Jim felt connected to his family again. They were all laughing and when he glanced at Jane, he noticed a sparkle in her eyes- one he had not seen in years. She looked even more beautiful than the day he had met her. For the first time in a while, Jim felt a warmth that he had not felt since his wedding day and this made him so happy. He stretched across the armrest, slid his fingers between hers, and gently squeezed her hand. She locked eyes with him, smiled, and rested her head on his shoulder. It felt like time had stopped and everything felt right in the world for a minute.

RING!!! RING!!!

Jim’s cell phone went off. Jane gave him a look that said, “Don’t you dare!”

RING!! RING!!!

Jim looked at her but could not shake the feeling that something had gone terribly wrong at work. He knew he should not have taken this vacation! Jane attempted to grab the phone but Jim beat her to it.

“Hello?”

Screeeeeech!!! BOOM!

A truck veered into their lane and crashed into Jim’s vehicle. Caiden, their baby boy, the only victim, died on the spot. The call? It was the wrong number.

CENTERPIECE

Whether we are aware of this or not, we all have a center- something that drives everything that we do. They are at the heart of every decision we make, influence the way we think, and are at the core of our belief system. “Centers” can be placed into the following categories:

• Possessions
• Enemies
• Job
• Family
• Principle

As you can imagine, someone whose center is possessions will place high value or importance on acquiring things and will spend much of their life chasing them. One enemy-centered allows naysayers and opponents to dictate what they do or don’t do and how they think. By this time you’ve figured out that Jim fell into the “Job” category, and someone whose center is the family, will make decisions based on what they perceive to be the best for them at all times. However, the final category is “Principle”. A principle is a belief or rule that determines our behavior.

When principles are the center of our behavior, the people and things that matter most will almost always be made a priority. The thing about having our center be anything other than principles is that every other area of our lives can be negatively affected, as was Jim’s case. I have been there too, like Jim. I would rise early for work and leave late, made no time to socialize, and spend quality time with the people who mean the world to me. As you can imagine, over time, those relationships would have been affected. Why? Because I did not center my life on principles.

Now let me hasten to say that this is not to suggest that one should not work hard on your job or think about your family before making decisions. On the contrary, having principles will allow you to experience peace, productivity, and joy in those areas as well. As you can see, it is healthier to have principles at the center of our lives than things or people because the correct principles will allow us to lead more successful lives.

I have had to stop, over and over again, and try to figure out what my center is because it sometimes shifts.

As I write this blog, I am reflecting on what my current center is and assessing if I am living my life from a place of principle or from another category. Do not be hard on yourself if you are not operating from the place you want to be. If you can identify where you are, it is the first step to experiencing transformation. As always, you won’t have to do it alone, we’ll walk together.