If I Should Be Honest…
I don’t know about you, but this year was hard.
It stretched me in so many ways, and when I thought I couldn’t be stretched any further, I was pulled all the more. There were times I felt like I would break. My health was affected, my faith was questioned, at times, I asked God the hard questions, at other times, I didn’t even bother.
Yet, at the end of it all, I never left my foundation, the place where I first believed. In moments when I should have crumbled, worship echoed from my lip; not because I’m stronger and more righteous than anyone else, but because of the Father’s commitment to help me.
How did I get here? It did not happen overnight…
When Faith Is Tested, Not Performative
I remember thinking years ago that the three Hebrew boys were so bold. They were so confident that God would show up for them that they unwaveringly declared to the King:
“Our God will save us. But even if He doesn’t, we still won’t bow.”
Even while staring death in the face, with their fate being the fiery furnace (should they not bow to the golden calf), they remained true to their convictions. Wow! I remember questioning whether I would have the confidence to make such a strong statement as the Hebrew Boys did. Would I be okay with God not showing up, even after I had done His will? Would I be bitter towards Him because I felt entitled to Him rescuing me?
Years ago, I couldn’t say yes to those questions with confidence.
This year, however, and if I were to be honest, these last few years compounded and I was consistently challenged- not to the degree of the Hebrew boys; but enough to shake my confidence in God. There were moments I believed the lie that He had forsaken me. Thankfully, those moments were brief because I was always reminded of a scripture that quickly debunked that lie.
And yet, despite the challenges- through hurt, disappointment, being misunderstood, and physical ailments, with tears flooding my cheeks, I remember saying to God with all sincerity:
“God, it’s You and me; until the end. If You show up, thank you. But even if You don’t, I won’t leave. I’m Yours forever.”
The Breaking That Produces Intimacy
What I did not initially realize through this whole process was that the breaking was pulling me into greater intimacy with my Creator. Not only that, but a better version of me was being formed as the old me began to die.
You see, it’s easy to give God our yes when everything is going well. But when the vicissitudes of life challenge your commitment, that yes becomes costly.
Through navigating difficult cycles in life I have come to learn that some pain; though agonizing, breaks us so that we can reflect a stronger, more accurate image of Christ. It costs to look like Him. It costs to carry His anointing. It costs to walk out your assignment. There is a price to pay for growth.
This breaking is part of our forming. (Galatians 4:19)
Even when we cannot immediately see or handle the fruit of the process, we remain confident that God is no man’s debtor. And even if our hands never handle the fruit of our sacrifice on this side of heaven, our answer is still:
“Yes, I will love and serve You.”
Want to know if you truly love? Measure the depth of your love by the weight of your sacrifice.
Alignment, Exposure, and Growth
Of course, there were highlights of the year as well!
God gave me the grace to start writing again! Man, I’m so happy I yielded to my convictions and wise counsel to begin again.
There’s something to be said about walking in alignment with God’s plan and purpose for your life; it just hits differently. You come into a flow, and suddenly, the friction caused by delay or disobedience dramatically declines.
This year was also a year of exposure. God exposed me to myself; the parts of me that have grown and developed, and the parts that still need work. He revealed me to me but affirmed my worth.
The old me would often change herself to meet the expectations and demands of others to avoid trouble. The healed version of me has accepted me; the core of who God created me to be and the person He has always affirmed. I remain committed to growth, but secure in my identity in Him.
The People Assigned to You
This year revealed people.
Here’s what I will say in this regard…
The people assigned to you are already equipped to handle you.
There is a difference between an assignment and an attachment. One is divinely assigned (by God), while the other is a self-assigned burden.
You must know the difference.
Wisdom, Boundaries, and Discernment
Wisdom and discernment are essential to protect your assignment and your peace.
It is okay to have tiers of friendships. There is nothing wrong with boundaries. Dare I say, it is careless not to have them.
Jesus walked with twelve, yet He only took three to the Mount of Transfiguration. Before His crucifixion, He again took Peter, James, and John to be closest to Him as He prayed.
Not everyone is graced with the capacity to handle all of you, especially in your most vulnerable moments, so why would you invite everyone in? Jesus didn’t do it, and neither should you. Your destiny and assignment are too priceless to gamble with them like this.
“Boundaries are not walls- they are doors with padlocks.” – Pastor Jerry Flowers
Not Broken, Refined
Many lessons were learned this year, and others were reinforced.
2025 was a year of revelation and stretching. I didn’t know it when I got here, but I’m glad I’m here.
As I welcome 2026, I do so not with bitterness, anger, or regret- but with peace, gratitude, and expectation. I enter the new year as a better version of myself, and I owe it all to the Creator.
I look forward to getting better and as I grow, that you, too, will walk in power and lean into your process with ease. May your year exceed your expectations, and may you lack no good thing.
The same God who met us, carried us, and sustained us will continue to show Himself faithful in this new year.
A Moment to Reflect
As you stand at the threshold of a new year, take a moment to pause and reflect:
- Where did you feel stretched this year, and how did it deepen your intimacy with God?
- What did the breaking reveal about your faith, your boundaries, and your becoming?
- Where is God inviting you to trust Him again, even if the outcome is uncertain?
- Who has the capacity to walk with you in this next season, and who may need to remain at a healthy distance?
- What is your yes as you step forward into what God is forming in you?
Take these questions to prayer. Sit with them. Write your answers if you can. And as you enter this new year, may your confidence be anchored not in what God will do- but in who He is.
Until next week, Happy New Year!
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