Sometimes people say all the right things, and still get it completely wrong.
Have you ever read a post or watched a video where the person was saying all the right things – but something still felt off?
The words were correct.
The message sounded righteous.
The scriptures were quoted perfectly.
And yet, beneath it all, you could sense anger. Bitterness. Offense.
It’s a strange tension: truth spoken from a wounded place.
A Lesson From the Worship Stage
Taya Gaukrodger, a well-known worship leader with Hillsong United, once shared a powerful and honest moment about this very issue.
She spoke candidly about leading worship from a place of hurt, bitterness, and offense.
In one experience, she had just gone through a painful breakup. While she was leading worship and singing about the faithfulness of God, the woman involved in the situation walked into the sanctuary.
In that moment, she said she invited God into the space as her “defender and judge.”
Now let’s be clear.
Is God a defender and judge? Absolutely.
Was she declaring something consistent with Scripture? Yes.
But her motive – and ultimately the posture of her heart – was off.
The words were right, but the heart behind them was not.
What makes this story powerful is that Taya, a strong and respected woman of God, was able to acknowledge her humanity and recognize her error. She made adjustments quickly so that her worship would once again be pleasing to God.
That kind of humility is rare, and deeply instructive.
The Subtle Deception We Often Miss
It’s easy to recognize obvious deception.
For example, when someone makes a promise while crossing their fingers behind their back. We all know what that means. The person is being disingenuous.
We see it.
We frown upon it.
Sometimes we even condemn it.
But what about the more subtle forms of deception?
The kind that looks completely right on the outside; but is laced with internal venom.
Words that sound holy but are driven by offense.
Messages that appear righteous but are fueled by unresolved pain.
When Conviction Comes Quickly
Like Taya, I’ve had moments where I realized that what I was sharing did not come from the right place.
And when that realization comes, it can be deeply sobering.
Almost always, I feel immediate conviction. And that conviction often leaves me feeling ashamed and regretful.
As a woman who speaks for a living; and as someone who understands, at least to some extent, how powerful words can be in shaping the destinies of people – I have to be extremely mindful of what comes out of my mouth.
My words matter.
But over time, I’ve learned something even more important.
What’s in my heart matters even more.
Scripture Has Always Emphasized the Heart
Ever heard of Amaziah?
The Bible records that he did all the right things in the sight of God—but not with a perfect heart, and this displeased God (2nd Chron. 25:1-3).
That detail is both sobering and revealing.
It means I can pray, tithe faithfully, give generously to the poor, and even dance like David; but if my motive is wrong, it is all in vain.
After all, isn’t that what the Pharisees and Sadducees did?
They practiced religion publicly and meticulously. Yet we repeatedly see Jesus Christ rebuke them.
Why?
Because while man looks at the outward appearance, God examines the heart.
Scripture consistently reminds us that even when the actions appear right, the motive behind them still matters.
The Source of the Message
It doesn’t matter how correct my words are.
It doesn’t matter how beautifully they’re decorated with truth or scripture.
If my motives are questionable, the message becomes tainted.
As Jesus said in Matthew 12:34:
“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
What lives in the depths of our hearts will ultimately determine the impact of the words we release.
Sometimes people can sense it too.
They may not always be able to articulate it, but they can feel when someone is speaking from bitterness rather than healing.
If I’m honest, there have been times when I’ve watched certain posts online and thought:
“You probably need to go talk to the person directly. The social media community doesn’t need to be a part of this conversation.”
And that realization has forced me to look inward as well.
The Discipline of Checking Your Motives
I’ve had to learn – and I’m still learning to evaluate my motives before I share anything on my platforms – God’s platforms.
Equally important, I’ve learned to do the work of healing before speaking publicly about certain experiences.
Because if I don’t, I run the risk of bleeding on people who had nothing to do with the wound.
And when that happens, we create more problems than solutions.
More hurt instead of healing.
More confusion instead of clarity.
Heal Before You Speak
One of the most powerful lessons I continue to carry with me is this:
Heal, so that others will not have to recover from you.
Before you speak.
Before you post.
Before you respond.
Pause and examine your motives.
Ask yourself:
- Why am I sharing this?
- Is this coming from healing or from hurt?
- Am I trying to help… or trying to prove something?
Because the truth is this:
The heart of a person is the place from which everything flows.
And if the motive is wrong, even the most beautiful message can become toxic.
Your Motives Matter
Truth matters.
Words matter.
But motives matter just as much – if not more.
So before you speak today, before you share, before you respond to that comment or post that stirred something in you…
Take a moment to check your motives and your heart.
Let healing happen there first.
Then speak from that place.
The world doesn’t just need more voices.
It needs voices that come from hearts that are whole.
Your motives matter.
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